Well, the waiting game is teaching me patience...total acceptance of the moment. Seems to be my motto this year (and last year). The health is my last hurtle and I have one more test to get done. If it's meant to happen it will and if not then there will be new adventures to partake in. I'm reading "The New Earth" by Eckhart Toulle and I have to say it has opened new horizons for me. Considering the fact that we are all life changing forms whose structure is never permanent but everchanging produces some lasting thoughts in one's head. We get so caught up in weak moments of being human. Anger or jealousy of another, wanting more and feeling vulnerable because we don't have enough, caring (too much) about what others' think and allowing that to drain us. Total acceptance of "I am" sounds so much more inviting. But in this game of life we make errors and we keep grasping to find peace and harmony. At least the awareness of human qualities now resides within me and I catch myself when vulnerability sets in...now that's growth, or is it age....hmmmm
Human tendencies are truly a great thing to be realized & aware of...I loved discovering how vulnerable I am thanks in due part to my husband. But also to be able to stand on my own two feet when life knocks you down time and time again. The trick for me in this newly tred path called marriage is to define the level of independence that satisfies me...and doesn't offend my husband, or overwhelm him. And of course the never ending search, not for myself...(I discovered the inner most sanctury of me after the greatest hurdle this far in life and going through a pretty dark, dark, DARK mood), but for my passion in life...that keeps me trudging through the less glamorous moments with an endless, optimistic hope. I must have gotten that light from my mother.
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